jimmychenchen

heaping mound of shit with vaguely anthropomorphic maggot egg eyes

Wed, 15 May 2013 15:57:41 -0700

heaping mound of shit with vaguely anthropomorphic maggot egg eyes

transparent reactions regarding an oblique question

Mon, 13 May 2013 14:35:00 -0700

is “if i could love you so much […]” a coy portrayal of one’s sentiment—an offer, perhaps, to communicate the vulgarities of the heart with a diminishing five second snapchat of some juggs—or an earnest question riddled, or at least bound, by logistical (or shall we say rational) contingencies i.e. this would be impossible

“in [my] private time” seems like a distraction, a floral insertion, from what’s at stake, namely, the preceding phrase in which you asked me about love. for all my time is private, and lest you think it’s romantic, i must concede such time includes mainly tater tots and syndications of who’s the boss?

would this belief in “you believed you were a lesbian” remain a dormant bi-curious consideration, or be corroborated with actual sexual acts, for in the latter case, as a male, i cannot technically act as a lesbian would, unless you casually mean sex w/ a woman (from an intrinsic male POV, or course); or, are you simply trying to confuse me?

the happiness you close with is a formidable invention of the mind which has adverse effects on the soul—and by that i mean the roller coaster of ligands tugging neurons into surrender—for no person can seriously feel happy away from the scissor lock of warm legs, the late morning light scanning goosebumps like braille, ones risen under sudden feeling, clasped by the ankle by a final gasp

Tue, 07 May 2013 16:23:39 -0700

barbara kruger fails to rebrand trix cereal

Tue, 07 May 2013 12:13:08 -0700

barbara kruger fails to rebrand trix cereal

Tue, 07 May 2013 11:36:23 -0700

Mon, 06 May 2013 14:08:49 -0700

Mon, 06 May 2013 11:33:37 -0700

‘on adoration’ can be read here

Sun, 05 May 2013 11:54:24 -0700

‘on adoration’ can be read here

Fri, 03 May 2013 16:39:13 -0700

one time i saw a pigeon eating another pigeon on the street, the latter who had fallen in modern...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 15:18:00 -0700

one time i saw a pigeon eating another pigeon on the street, the latter who had fallen in modern society. the cannibalistic pigeon didn’t know what cannibalism was, let alone was attuned to the stigma attached. i recall it was during ‘farmers market,’ by one of those public fountains with once-provocative architecture now deemed antiquated over time. now we’re just left with weird shapes. i was standing a safe 20 ft. from them, eating a peach whose insides dripped off my chin, was how ripe it was. i watched the pigeon eat its cousin as i too masticated flesh, albeit not attached to any nervous system. the entire situation, looking back, was sad. a car drove by playing a hit song concerning provincial sentiments auto-tuning the voice of a girl with no talent, her cheek glitter unplanned constellations waiting for their macro appearance in the night

rebellious oreo will be eaten first

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 16:48:49 -0700

rebellious oreo will be eaten first

Audio

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 16:01:06 -0700

Audio

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 15:41:36 -0700

supplemental material

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 22:09:00 -0700

browsing taco bell’s burritos — i was seduced by their amazing website — immediately brought to mind fleshlights — another awesome website — off of which “taco bell burrito as fleshlight: an inquiry” was based. implicating and using such product shots, whose irony can only be argued, was legally suspect, so thought catalog editors actually went out and purchased respective burritos, for which i am completely grateful. in my history of writing, never has an editor (and my friend, brandon scott gorrell) gone through such effort. a special nod to stephen tully dierks, who escorted him (corroborating pics here and here).

we were, via gchat, worried about collapsing the correlation between the original product shot and text, given that much of the latter describes in detail the visual elements of the former — but hoped that the new, however inadvertent, dissonance between the saggy and deflated actual burritos and the gushing non-correlative text might augment, or at least complicate, the conceit of the narrator being driven to insanity by the very desperation which would compel him to bang a burrito. in short, the implicit distorted thinking was granted literary capacity in place of intended literalness. the sadness and hilarity of the actual burritos now lent the piece a kind of parallel rhetoric.

here is a good example. i mention my penis barely entering this ‘burrito supreme’ halfway. with the product shot, this seems only somewhat self-deprecatory (i mean, it’s a long ass burrito with an acute vanishing point). but with the actual burrito, each half is ~3.5”, which my erect penis could obviously transgress. sometimes i worry that women who might be attracted to me change their mind because of the self-characterization of my anatomy. i hope they know i’m a normal guy. i am a fervent lover, much like a donkey caught in a raspberry bush.

the burritos cost $29.00, and were taken by the formerly invoked editor, who has admitted to consuming the potato cheese burrito. this has been a wonderful experience for me, and a ‘win/win’ situation for me (acclaim), thought catalog (hits), taco bell (free advertising), and readers (relevant literature, a warning to stay in relationships). thanks for caring, and take care of yourselves.

claiming ownership of image, original post http://bit.ly/iBE1t8

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 14:49:57 -0700

claiming ownership of image, original post http://bit.ly/iBE1t8

thoughtcatalog: This is Thought Catalog. Follow us...

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 13:59:29 -0700

thoughtcatalog:

This is Thought Catalog. Follow us on Tumblr here.

Dear Depressive

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 12:10:11 -0800

Asked anonymously over the internet by today’s troubled youth, questions concerning relationships, dating, sex, depression, emotional problems, popular culture, and education/career choices are perilously answered by Jimmy Chen, who emphatically offers suspect advice — at once sarcastic, brutally honest, unabashed, but ultimately in empathy — from a place of inner turmoil, manic plight, and spiritual darkness.

A Thought Catalog Digital Book available on Amazon and iTunes here.

i feel bad for k.d. lang. she’s gained a lot of weight and gives off a guy fieri vibe, like...

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:38:00 -0800

i feel bad for k.d. lang. she’s gained a lot of weight and gives off a guy fieri vibe, like she might tilt her head and eat something massive at any moment — and the haircut doesn’t help. she’s been touring again and i think she bought david byrne’s fancy avante-fat suit. i actually relate to lesbians who might not get chicks that easily, like i know how it feels to see some hooters boppin’ down the street and feel horrible for myself. tonight both k.d. lang and i will pop blueberries in our mouths and think of anne heche’s mean nipples. we’ll wake up at 3:21 a.m., go to our respective fridges, and eat five tablespoons of condensed milk with a fresh mint leaf on top, just to lube our mouths from a no kiss barrenness, and know what sweetness is. i feel like listening to some k.d. lang suddenly. this has got to be the worst day ever

both U2 and Metallica’s video for their song ‘one’ features shots of bono and...

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 12:09:00 -0800

both U2 and Metallica’s video for their song ‘one’ features shots of bono and james hetfield getting all serious for the camera and taking the song and their feelings and careers like way too seriously. bono is in a bar somewhere in europe drinking heinekens and smoking cigs being all sexy n’ nihilistic or something. it’s like that 2:00 a.m. fuck me look. the reason why kids begin smoking in high school is because of videos like this, and now Bono wants to save africa and i find that hypocritical. as for mr. alcoholic & mild asperger’s james hetfield, he wrote a song about a guy who comes back from war missing all his four limbs and he’s blind and deaf; hence, he’s ‘one’ like only one thing, his consciousness. that idea pretty much fucked me up in high school as i air-thrashed to ‘darkness…imprisoning me…all that i see…absolute horror!’ that’s a lot to handle for a kid. i think my depression started there. both these video are irresponsible and ruin children’s lives, and why? because they’re self-absorbed assholes. that’s why

on my obsession with nicole eggert here, and an okcupid farce here

Fri, 16 Nov 2012 11:57:32 -0800

on my obsession with nicole eggert here, and an okcupid farce here